


S12E12 Coda: Stuck in the Middle (With You)

by sydkn3e



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Eye Sex, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9897461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydkn3e/pseuds/sydkn3e
Summary: A little S12E12 Post Episode Coda: Stuck in the Middle (With You)





	

Cas sighed heavily, loosening the tie around his neck and unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt. The bloodstained trench coat already laid in a heap at his feet. He fumbled with the buttons of the shirt, his hands still shaking a little. He gave up halfway and braced himself against the dresser, resting his palms against the cool wood.

That was too close. Of all the times he could've told Dean how he truly felt...and he waited until he thought he was going to die. 

Dean hadn't said anything. He didn't have to. His face in the car, on the way back to the bunker, said it all.

Cas shook his head, ashamed of how cowardly he felt. Dean didn't deserve an admission of love right before he lost yet another person who meant so much to him. Cas didn't even have the have the courage to look at Dean when he told him. 

Cas scoffed at himself, then pinched the bridge of his nose, resting his elbow on the dresser.

He sensed Dean watching him before Dean could even open his mouth to say anything.

Cas sighed, refusing to look in his direction. 

"I'm sorry."

Dean huffed quietly, and there was some shuffling as he pushed himself off the frame of the door against which, no doubt, he'd been leaning. More shuffling as he made his way a few feet into the door, then silence as he stopped just inside the room.

"Yeah." Came the gruff reply. "Yeah, you should be."

Cas opened his eyes and turned, finding Dean standing in the middle of the room, watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. He furrowed his brow, giving Dean a pleading look. An apology.

Dean looked angry, but there was a softness behind the anger. Pain, the ever-present pain, but also something else...compassion, maybe. Perhaps understanding. Cas didn't know.

After a moment, Dean spoke again, quiet this time, his voice less hard.

"You couldn't even look at me, man."

Cas let his head drop again. "I was ashamed."

"Of what?"

"Everything I didn't say." Cas looked back up, but immediately away from Dean, focusing on the chipped paint of the walls. "Everything that I should've said before that moment. Everything that you always deserved to hear from me."

"I deserved to have you look at me when you said it. That's what I deserved." 

Cas looked at him now, blue irises dark in the low lighting of the room. "What difference would that have made, Dean? I thought I was dying."

Dean scoffed. "C'mon, Cas! We've been dancing to this same song for eight years now. You never had to say it before, and I knew. But to actually hear it from you for the first time only because you think you're dying..." He trailed off, his eyes searching Cas's. "That's just bullshit."

Cas frowned at him, cocking his head.

"Not to mention unfair." Dean continued, letting his hands fall to his sides. "To say it, not expecting me to get the chance to reciprocate."

"Dean, I know you better than anyone. I know your thoughts because I've seen them. I know your soul because I've held it in my own two hands. I know you well enough to know that all the love you have for anyone, you show by doing."

Dean barely nodded, his tongue falling to rest behind his teeth. His hands still at his sides, he rubbed his thumb absentmindedly over his pointer finger, fidgeting. His eyes were unwavering, intense but soft, holding Cas's gaze.

"You're right."

In a few short paces he closed the space between them, lifting his hands and cupping Cas's face. Cas braced himself, his eyes going wide. 

Dean's eyes shifted, searching Cas's face. He gave a kurt nod, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Cas's. It was short and sweet, their lips soft and barely touching, and Cas's eyes closed..remaining that way for a moment after Dean pulled away. He opened them to find Dean's eyes searching his face again, his eyebrows slightly raised. In a split second, his face went serious, his hold on Cas's face tightening slightly.

"Cas, I-I.." His voice broke and he paused, tears making him glossy-eyed. He swallowed hard. "I thought I was losing you. I- _fuck_ , Cas, I...I was screaming inside. And you- you weren't even gonna give me the chance to..."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Dean let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, straightening back up and met Cas's gaze again, relaxing into the blue pools regarding him so delicately. He rubbed his thumbs along Cas's jawline on either side.

"I do...l-" Dean's breath hitched in his throat, and he swallowed, his expressive eyes speaking to Cas. "I do, Cas. I try to show you every day. In everything I do." 

"I know."

Dean blinked at him, almost as if seeing him for the first time. He lowered his hands to Cas's hips, innocently lifting the bottom of his shirt to inspect the skin there. It was smooth, as if nothing ever happened, as if the spear never pierced his skin, as if he never confessed his love for the green-eyed hunter in front of him. Dean ran his fingertips over the spot where the injury occurred, tracing the pattern where the horrible black streaks had graced his tanned skin. 

It was just Cas. Regular Cas. Healthy Cas. Living Cas.

"Cas, don't you ever do that to me again."

Cas quirked a smile, the feel of Dean's lips still lingering on his own.

"I love you, Dean."


End file.
